Starring Sally J. Freedman as Herself

So last Shabbat was a bust. No progress on issue #1. I did think about the issue and felt I should XYZ…OK, wait, this line of thinking brings me back squarely into issue #4.

But, before I wax rhapsodic on why this past weekend I was unsuccessfully Conservative or Orthodox, I thought I’d take a moment to introduce the players in this little drama.

Me: Among other things I am a spouse; I got remarried a little more than three and a half years ago after a nasty divorce complete with get issues and ongoing custody crises. I’m a parent. I work full time. I also attend graduate school full time – hence the need for copious amounts of coffee. When I’m not working, stuck in traffic or writing a paper, I’m known amongst my hevra as the “Jewish Martha Stewart.” I love to cook, bake, knit and needlepoint.

I enjoy these domestic arts but I have to separate these interests from the notion that I’m stuck in the 50s. I’m working to balance the shoulds – as in “I should have all the laundry done and not just sitting in bins for a week” or “I should have a six course dinner prepared and not just for Friday night” or “I should manage to fit in time for learning, volunteer at #1’s day school, have intelligent conversation with the spouse and play on the floor with the kids without thinking of the zillion chores that have to be done or that I’m completely exhausted.”

I’m working on the notion of good enough. I’m not there yet.

Spouse: Smart. Professional. Infinitely patient. Tremendous parent. Challenges me, prods me, helps me to grow…maybe one day I’ll have it together as much as the spouse.

Child #1: Day schooler. Insightful. Balanced. Manages to exist in multiple worlds (observant Jewish home most of the time, completely assimilated home at the other parent’s) and can reconcile the two better than most adults.

Child #2: Day care. Loves to run up to the bimah to see the Torah. Favorite word: “why?” Least favorite word: (being told) “no.”

Enough with the dramatis personae. Here's the intellectual portion of this post. I just read the following article in Commentary. Peruse and talk amongst yourselves.